Grey
by SequoiaUnderwood
Summary: It's been twelve years since Harry has lost Draco, the one he loved. Their daughter also went missing from his life when she was kidnapped. Harry has lost hope and is thinking the unthinkable, can anything bring harry back to life? mentiions of DH.


Disclaimer. JKR owns everything but the song which is owned by Ani Difranco.

AN: I highly suggest listening to this song while you read; it's easier to get the feel of the story. And besides it's an awesome song. (Grey – Ani Difranco)

**_Grey _**

_The sky is grey_

_The sand is grey_

_The ocean is grey_

Everything around me moves to its own pace. Sometimes I wonder if I move at all. In my eyes it's al the same, day after day, after day. Ever since you left me I stopped working right. My hands shake sometimes. I eat even though I'm not hungry to stop people worrying. Sometimes I just want to walk into the ocean and never come back out.

_And I feel right at home_

_In this stunning monochrome_

_Alone in my way_

My eyes don't work right anymore. It seems a cruel joke that the only color I see now is grey. His cold icy eyes warmed to grey when they looked at me. They warmed to grey when they looked at our daughter. Her eyes were grey too. But they've both gone away. I wish I was with them, wherever they are.

_I smoke and I drink_

_And every time I blink_

_I have a tiny dream_

It's been years since I've laid my eyes on either of them. But I see them everywhere anyway. Her pale hair would disappear around a corner. The door would slam closed as he would come home from work and when I went out to see him, he wouldn't be there. He's never there anymore. I just can't seem to let go of this dream. At night Ginny says I should slow down, but why bother, it's either try and forget or stay conscious and remember all the while.

_But as bad as I am_

_I am proud of the fact_

_That I am worse than I seem_

Everyday I feel myself slipping away a little bit more than the day before. I live by going through the motions. Sometimes they all seem to think I've gotten better. I can manage smiles now and conversation. I know they realize that when my husband and daughter I died with them, but they think I'm doing okay. They think I'm going to make it through all of this…grey.

_What kind of paradise am I looking for?_

_I've got everything I want and still I want more_

_Maybe some tiny shiny key will wash up on the shore_

There's nothing that can be done about it now. There're both gone. Forever. I can't bring them back even if I tried. I have a wonderful house and wonderful friends that visit me often. Everything someone could ask for I have. But I want them back. It seems years ago that they stopped the search. I kept looking. But that also seems like a long time ago when I myself stopped. I know he's dead, Sometimes I think she could still be out there somewhere. But I'm just kidding myself. I wish I could stop hoping.

_You walk through my walls_

_Like a ghost on tv_

_You penetrate me_

Sometimes my dreams are so real. He will be standing in front of me. He would touch my face gently. Sometimes I would hear him speak my name. 'Harry' he would say, really softly like he was afraid I would brake. Then the pain would come back to my chest as he would fade away, that pain s strong when I would realize he wasn't really there. He doesn't really exist anymore.

_And my little pink heart_

_On it's little brown raft_

_Floating out to sea_

My heart is fading away. Like drift wood on the shore loses it's color in the summer sun. Drying out and becoming a dull grey. Her hair was thin, soft and pale. I'll never forget how it flowed over her little shoulders. I remember the day she was taken away from me. I'd just lost Draco a couple weeks ago; I held her hand as she was pulled away. Apparating away into nothing. I wonder if there was more I could have done. I'll never forgive the ministry for muddling the ransom. One owl nearly killed the rest of me. 'You'll never get her back' not she's dead….but I'll never get her back. I hope she's happy somewhere out there, I pray that she has someone to love her.

_And what can I say_

_But I'm wired this way_

_And you're wired to me_

Sometimes I have dream about her, her smiles and her little hands that want to be held. And then I see a young girl who would be around her age if she were alive. This girl laughs in my dreams. My heart breaks when this girl cries. I never see her face just her hair, her lovely hair which I long to see again. Hermione and Ron want to take me out next week, it's her birthday. They take me out every year on Draco's and her birthdays. I love them so much for remembering.

_And what can I do_

_But wallow in you_

_Unintentionally_

The day gets closer, the day I'm going out for her birthday. She'll be seventeen years old now. If she were still alive. I can't believe that twelve years has past. I think I have to end this soon. They were all I was. I don't know why I'm still here. I'm nothing without them. Nothing at all. Nothing.

_What kind of paradise am I looking for_

_I've got everything I want and still I want more_

_Maybe some tiny shiny key will wash up on the shore._

I put on some nice clothes before Hermione and Ron come to pick me up. I might as well. It's rare that I get the chance to look nice anymore. I live in a muggle town so we'll be driving. They said they're taking me to a fancy restaurant and to put on some dancing chose. They try to cheer me up and I love them for it. I know I won't dance but I put them on anyways.

_Regretfully_

_I guess I've only got three_

_Simple things to say:_

_Why me?_

_Why this now?_

_Why this way?_

In the car, Hermione and Ron talk merrily away, trying to lighten the mood. We drive by the hospital, the same hospital Draco passed away in. He was so sick, He seemed to fade away as the days went on. I loved him so much. I was unbelievably grateful that he could still smile a real smile whenever he saw me or Abby. He'd always smile. Right till the end. It seemed so unfair. I still struggle with the injustice of our lives. We finally found each other. Draco got his name cleared. We had Abby. He fell ill, and the rest just hurts to much…

_Overtones ringing_

_And undertones pulling away_

We entered the restaurant and it was lovely, there were flowers everywhere, I couldn't see the colors, but I was sure they were nice. We all ordered our food, I had a salad. Many years ago Draco's vegetarianism wore off on me. Throughout the dinner We all made relatively pleasant small talk. I could see in their eyes they were avoiding talking about Abby. I didn't want to this year. I just wanted to go home and sleep. Hermione glanced at her watch and said it was probably time to go. Ron started talking about the last time he was here. He wanted me to go see a painting in the foyer of the restaurant. I followed the two, they were walking quickly, I didn't fell like keeping up. I meandered through the halls. When I canme upon them they were standing, waiting for me. Besides them was a tall girl.

"Daddy it's me, I'm home." Her hair was long and pale and her eyes were grey. A warm _grey_….

_Under a sky that is grey_

_On sand that is grey_

_By an ocean that's grey_

The end

**AN: I hope everyone likes this. It's a sad little piece that has a happy ending. The last angst piece I wrote had an unhappy ending so I figured this needed to be said. Anyways I really hope you REVIEW! Constructive criticism is always useful and always appreciated. I answer all reviews too.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

**…please?**

**-Sequoia**


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